Buffalo Bills
From their stellar offense, to the solid play of Bruce Smith, to the supernatural powers of their kicking specialists, the game continues to come just short of going to the altar with the Bills. Look on in horror as the game creators continue to wish they were making love to this team as they program them to be a world-beating squad of super mutants. Fun for everyone, including Leon Lett, Korn fanatics, and anybody whoever wanted to see a punter score.
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Miami Dolphins
A forgotten gem in Tecmo, the Miami Dolphins have every right to be searching for respect after all the years of being overlooked. Keeping in mind that they have the Terminator at quarterback and a minority represented at punter, you can't help but wonder how this happens. Somehow this is Buffalo's fault. Check out Marino in all his eight-bit glory, minus the knee braces and ski boot.
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Indianapolis Colts
The Indianapolis Colts have been grandfathered in as an excuse for committing felonies in the United States. Right up there with pleading insanity, one can plead that they just finished playing a Tecmo game where he or she unfortunately had to control the Colts. It is assumed that at least 75% of sitting judges are sympathetic to this defense, with another 15% willing to consider it if you have a good lawyer. Punter Rohn Stark is one of the best in the league.
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New York Jets
While the Giants get immortalized on the right side of this screen with a Tecmo intern wearing their uniform, the Jets exist in an unparalleled state of obscurity. The team has a fair number of good players, but it's important to remember that this is the same squad whose starting quarterback can't get his name written correctly and whose best player will have his neck broken within a year.
But hey, "I don't care about the Jets' struggles, I just want to kiss you."
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New England Patriots
If there was ever any question that America loves an underdog, Tecmo answers it. While we all hate Buffalo for being unearthly good and deceitful, every player has a soft spot in his heart for the hapless Patriots. There's just something about a group of players that can't tackle, a quarterback with no sense of accuracy, and a tailback named Mosi to tug at the heartstrings. Grab a puppy and read about the loveable losers from Foxboro.
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