Leonardite.com: Why Indy Rules: A Beginner's Checklist

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Why Indy Rules: A Beginner's Checklist (5/21/03) --

I consider myself to be a sporting purist. I despise Interleague Play, Expansion, and the altering of playoff structures. But while the typical vision of a purist is that of a cantankerous fan who abhors any change, there is more to it than that. The part that often is overlooked and underappreciated is the deep respect for sports’ time-honored traditions. One of these is about to occur this weekend.

As a sports fan and purist, I always took at least a passive interest in who was the victor in the Indianapolis 500. I always understood that this was an important race and I took note of who won it every year. But did I watch it? Of course not. I hardly liked any auto racing beyond NASCAR for many years, so why would I take the time on a Sunday morning to tune in to the Indianapolis 500 with a bunch of guys that I didn’t know anyway?

Because it is a spectacle unlike any other in auto racing and quite possibly all of sports.

Take note of my words. Five years ago, auto racing meant zilch to me. Three years ago, open wheel racing meant zilch to me. Sure, I knew about the IRL and CART, but they were too busy fighting for me to even care about either. I didn’t know Eliseo Salazar from Luis Salazar. I didn’t know if Gil (pronounced “Jill”) de Ferran was a guy or not, and I certainly couldn’t tell you the difference between a G Force or John Force.

Now, just five days from the 500, I am counting away the seconds. I cannot wait for this race. Sure, many of you think you could never get excited about something as mundane as some dumb race. If I could become hooked, you can, too. Here are some reasons for you to make the switch sooner than later.

-The crowd. Have you ever seen the crowd for the Indianapolis 500? The thing is massive. When 400,000 people converge on Indianapolis, it is about 2/3 the size of North Dakota in population. This is the world’s largest sporting event and it is awe-inspiring to see that many people.

-The speed. I honestly have a hard time watching NASCAR now after seeing the speeds that the IRL cars put up. Guys were hitting 233 miles per hour this week at Indianapolis. You might not think there’s a noticeable difference between 230 and 180 on television. There undoubtedly is. The level of talent and skill required to race cars at that speed is incredible.

-The precision. When you are flying around the corners at 220+ MPH, you’d think some contact with each other would be inevitable, right? In NASCAR, with basically a bumper car bumper on the vehicle, they can go around and beat the hell out of each other all they want. They barely move when guys tap and touch going by one another. But in the IRL, one touch can be catastrophe. Nothing is there to protect the wheels from chaos and the results can be devastating for a driver. When these cars barrel around at over 220 MPH and are within INCHES of touching one another, it is the most tense and exciting moment in sports that I have witnessed, outside of a big playoff game for your favorite team.

-The tradition. Ask people what they think of when you say “Daytona” and they’ll tell you “Spring Break.” As people what they think of when you say “Monaco” and they’ll say “Monte Carlo.” Ask people what they think of when you say “Indianapolis” and they’ll undoubtedly say something about the 500. The Indianapolis 500 is steeped in tradition as much or more so than any other single sporting event in this country. Think it’s a coincidence that people say, “Who are you, Mario Andretti?” to someone who drives too fast?

-The Borg Warner. Have you ever seen this thing? This is one cool looking trophy. Outside of the Stanley Cup, this is the best trophy in the country. It’s cool in the NHL that you can get your name etched onto the trophy after a championship. But in the 500, the driver gets his FACE attached to the trophy after a win. Think about that.

-The Names. The Brickyard. Bump Day. Gasoline Alley. All the various names that surround the 500 are pretty cool to say, especially when you actually learn what they mean. Learn these and confuse your friends. Master them and they’ll be impressed.

-“Gentlemen, start your engines!” This has been prostituted out to all kinds of different races over the years. It was an Indy original, however, and is still the most unique and inspiring place where these words are heard.

-The notoriety. Sports Illustrated, ESPN, etc. give minimal attention to the IRL throughout the year. But come Indy time, information can be found fairly easily about the race. And afterwards, nearly everyone is commenting on the race, whether they know anything about it or not. Obviously it’s something important if it brings the casual fan out of the woodwork to watch.

All of these things seem pretty rudimentary to the experienced fan. But keep in mind that these are some of the highlights to Joe Q. Public who might be looking for a reason to tune in to the Indianapolis 500. Check back later this week for my perspectives on the race and the Leonardite take on the whole extravaganza.