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November 7, 2005 Name: Gin and Tonic Location: Second Ring of Hell (aka IACC) I see that the feds are now looking at your website. If some guys in black suits and glasses drag you out of the Turf, I'll be sure to call the ACLU for you. I called Preheater Justin and left a message saying that I sit by the (singular) hot girl he brought home last year in one of my classes now. He probably didn't call me back because he was crying about how he blew it. Leonardite: I'd say something, but I don't want jeopardize our collective fleecing of the Ramada bar. You're the man, Justin. November 3, 2005 Name: Sheep Dawg Location: Unfortunately Fargo I truly don't know who is more pathetic. You for doing what I might consider a mini-blog of your final Civilization III quest, or the fact that I took the time to read it. On another blog related issue, how do you feel about quite possibly the greatest guitar player, Adam Jones, having a myspace blog? When I first saw it, I was mad. Very mad. Then I remembered it was Adam Jones, and he can still play a mean lick on the gwa-tar, so I got over it. Leonardite: If I can discuss Hoplites and Jaguar Warriors on hole four, I don't have a lot of reservations doing so on the internet.And as much as I despise blogs and everything related to them, if the Stinkfist video hasn't given Adam Jones a free pass to commit a few homicides, then the solo in Parabola surely has. November 2, 2005 Name: Jay Schroeder Thanks for being a fan! Your Pal, Jay Schroeder Leonardite: Thanks for being a slow-moving, overrated pocket passer. Your indifferent webmaster, Leonardite October 25, 2005 Name: EdibleAntiPerspirant Is the epidemic of frisbee golf players in effect in North Dakota? I went to Wisconsin recently and frisbee golf (frolf?) was all the rage. Leonardite: It's popular if you know where to look. My friend JoeSniff, who has copyrighted various frolf-related intellectual rights, designed courses, and plans to go on the national tour this spring? Yeah, that's probably a pretty decent place to start. October 24, 2005 Name: The MCL Yeah, I could really check my phone more than once a month. Me and the Schmidtster missed you last weekend, but your excuse holds up, that is of course I hear any story involving you and drunken escapdes in the near future. And to you Mr. Bombastic, I say: Ooh ah, oh oh iddy oh ah, oh eh oh. And please remember that while suicide may actually be a better alternative than living in Dickville, the thought of me growing another mullet should keep you alive for years to come. Leonardite:  Tomorrow's Poll: Did the Forum come up with the worst poll in newspaper history? October 23, 2005 Name: Brandizzle One question to you Razzler: How was Homecomming? Leonardite: I spent it transferring food from the nation's soil to its ultimate destination on your dinner table, so my participation in the festivities was nil. Besides, I'm still mourning the fact that I can't get involved with building class floats for the KHS homecoming parade anymore. And if you think I really ever got involved with building a homecoming float in the first place, you are a disappointing individual. October 20, 2005 Name: Mr. Boombastic is so Fantastic Location: the gouch of ND Leonardite i am a little disappointed in your drinking performance this last weekend, so next time a make the long trek back to reality you better have something amazing planed. It was good to see you though and i am looking forward to our next meeting. bye budawiga you buttapiga Leonardite: Part of the problem of being an internationally recognized FUN PERSON is that you can't always party like Gene Simmons. Sure, I can party like a rock star on any night on the calendar, but cut me some slack if I'm more Stryper than KISS every once in awhile. October 17, 2005 Name: The MCL E-mail: redhotcav@msn.com Hey Leonardite, I was wondering if you were going to be in attendence at J. Schmidinton III's frisby golf tourney at his abode it country. I might just have to head over and see what's up. Hopefully I'll see you there. Leonardite: Since you already know you missed out, I won't pile on further. But the fireworks show reaffirmed my patriotism and "guess??" and I managed to lose a disc in the bog, so those two reasons alone should convince you to buy a more accurate calendar. October 13, 2005 Name: Rory Calhoun E-mail: thehounster@philipmorris.com Location: beyond the grave Leonardite, I see from the answer to the pope picture that you have a xanga site. I could be wrong, because I have no desire to ever go there and find out. But if I am right, I feel a certain "what the hell is the matter with you?!" is in order. If ever there was a person to hate xanga, I thought it would be you. Of course I could be wrong, and if so, I am sorry for wasting this space. Leonardite: Through the main page, in the Leonardite.com? link, around the "filters" section, and through the "Distressed Poetry Blog" gateway. You're most very welcome. October 13, 2005 Name: ChewMaster Flex E-mail: Raginggoi@aol.com Location: Kindhead This is just a shout out to my ambassador, Dan. Your Follower Leonardite: Ercy: "On ESPN they are calling the Lions the NFL's most dysfunctional team. What a load of crap that is...or did the Vikings go to the CFL today?" October 12, 2005 Name: Gin and Tonic E-mail: mandylikespaste@hotmail.com Location: Third Ring of Hell (aka Sudro) No call for the tea night. The Wild Turkey and I will be planning your demise by Salmonella enteritica contamination via the nastiest possible route. Leonardite:  "Nobody likes Kung Lao. When he sits down to play the video game, Kung Lao doesn't even choose Kung Lao." --- Neil J. Roesler October 7, 2005 Name: Tubby I used to believe in many things as truths in my life. Now there is only Batman. Ualuealueale Leonardite: How could you leave out Gak? 
October 7, 2005 Name: The MCL E-mail: redhotcav@msn.com Location: college At first, I thought the whole Batman screaming ueleuleeulee thing was pretty lame. But for some reason, I kept going back to it everytime I came here. Now it is quite possibly the happiest thing in my life. Plus, turning it on full board and leaving the room for a while pisses off alot of people. So to you, Mon Capitan, I say Denverrrr (hand motion ensues). Leonardite: It's messages like this that spared Batman from the executioner's ax for one more week. It also has been far too long since I experienced the euphoria of "Denverrrr" so for perhaps the first time in history, I actually got something out of this guestbook besides a feeling of bewilderment and a chance to exercise my obscene vernacular. October 4, 2005 Name: The Congo-ite Location: sucking mothers teet Yes papa Leonardite. Come home soon. I want to hear stories of North Dakota and hear some sweet riffs from your Fender Strata Caster. ...: 
October 4, 2005 Name: Queen Nokonukku Location: The Congo Leonardite, come home to me and the rest of the Congo. Little Congo-ite misses you and your clean fresh scent. ...:  October 3, 2005 Name: In2DaBMage Location: ??? The Tecmo Rabbit vs. Billy Joe Tolliver or The Ranch Tooth from the Arby's commercial vs. Wayne Lane Which is the better fight to watch? Leonardite: I'll go with the first one simply because I signed away the contractual rights to my personality years ago to Tecmo. But this question reminded me of the glory days of New Orleans Saints football, when the top two quarterbacks on the squad were Billy Joe Tolliver and Billy Joe Hobert. It is indisputable that the boys from the bayou went beyond their Billy Joe quota, which for most teams and families with named children is zero. October 3, 2005 Name: J don't think i read this board? Joey Harrington was an Oregon Duck and throw's footballs like he's gay. so if that's what your trying to insinuate, then just go ahead and say it. Do I play on the same team as Jeff Garcia? oops I do, so well then you know the saying..if it walks like a duck and passes like a ... Leonardite: Joey Harrington and the Lions seem to find their way into this guestbook more than they should. I know that's only about three times if my memory serves me right, but that's still too much time devoted to a fake sports team. It's not like we sit around and toss out stories about the dear-departed WUSA and its cast of unforgettable characters, although admittedly we probably should. September 28, 2005 Name: EdibleAntiPerspirant When you say "rumors have placed me with the queen", I'm going to assume it means you had a casual love affair with Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith. It should be noted that she is 79 years old. Leonardite: Oh, I wish. Most of my rumors center around the queen of a small tribe in the Congo. She's not very clean and she kind of smells like AIDS, but she gives good back rubs. September 28, 2005 Name: Anthony Williams Location: Dayton,Ohio Good sir, I don't know what else you have on your website, but your takes on 'Tecmo Super bowl' are as classic as the game itself. You're as quick as Bo Jackson. Tough as Ronnie Lott, and as accurate as Joe Montana. You, sir, are the 'Super champion'. 'Ready? Down. Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut!" Leonardite: Don't bother looking at anything else because all of the other pages are just a jumble of animated GIFs I stole and old MAD Magazine quotes. Some might even say that they are the "Anthony Dilwegs" of the internet. But they're wrong: They're the Kirk Lowdermilks. They're the Kirk Lowdermilks. September 27, 2005 Name: guess?? Location: Ohio Mr. Leonardite this is such an interesting websight even though i really dont understand everything it has to offer but thanks again husband lol :-) Leonardite: I couldn't figure out why I've been addressed as "sir" and "mister" so often lately. But I figure since rumors have placed me with the queen, people assume they have to address me this way. |